Embracing The Stranger: Lessons From The Belonging Exchange with Jonathan Massimi

In the latest episode of "To Be and Do From the Belonging Exchange," host Philip Amerson sits down with Jonathan Massimi to explore the profound themes of faith, community, and what it truly means to welcome the stranger. Jonathan, an Anglican priest from Kitchener, Ontario, brings a wealth of knowledge and a fresh perspective to an age-old challenge: how do we, as individuals and communities, authentically connect with and support those who are different from us?

Here are three key takeaways from this thought-provoking episode:

1. Challenge Institutional Safety Nets

One of the most striking points Jonathan makes is about the role of institutional figures in society. He recalls how, from a young age, children are taught "stranger danger" and are encouraged to seek adults like teachers, police officers, or caregivers for safety. While this advice isn't without merit, Jonathan points out the potential pitfalls. As someone who has held various institutional roles, he notes that institutions often carry baggage and histories that might not make them as safe as we assume. The assumption that all institutional figures are inherently helpful can overlook the harm they may have caused in the past. Jonathan argues for a more relational approach, where trust is built not merely by virtue of one's role but through authentic, mutual engagement.

2. Move Beyond Transactional Relationships

The episode dives into the notion of moving past transactional relationships, where interactions are based on what one party can do for the other. Jonathan highlights this through his story about a man who frequently visited his office seeking money. Frustrated, Jonathan proposed a change: if the man wanted coffee, he should sometimes invite Jonathan and pay for it. This small shift turned a one-way interaction into a mutual relationship. This principle can be applied broadly, especially in community work. It's not enough to simply give; true engagement requires reciprocity. This mutual exchange helps foster a sense of belonging and shared humanity, rather than creating dependencies or power imbalances.

3. Redefine Acts of Service

Philip brings up an interesting critique of how many congregations engage in charity, using the example of "backpack Sundays." Churches collect school supplies and distribute them, believing they are making a difference. However, this action often lacks a deeper relational component. By merely providing supplies without engaging with the recipients on a personal level, these acts can become hollow. Jonathan extends this critique by pointing out that we often measure our success by the number of items given away rather than the relationships built. True service, he argues, involves knowing the names, stories, and needs of those we aim to serve. It's about mutual engagement, not just one-way giving.

This episode of "To Be and Do" serves as a powerful reminder that true community and faith-based work go beyond acts of charity and institutional safety nets. It calls for authentic, mutual relationships built on trust and reciprocity. Jonathan Massimi's insights urge us to rethink how we engage with "the stranger" and challenge us to move beyond superficial acts of service to build deeper, more meaningful connections.

In a world increasingly defined by division and mistrust, this episode offers valuable lessons in creating communities where everyone truly belongs. It’s a call to action for us all to look beyond just doing good deeds and to start building real, reciprocal relationships that transform both us and those we aim to serve.